Good news: I didn't regain any of the weight I lost in August!
Bad news: I didn't lose any weight in September. Well, that's not totally true. I lost and regained the same 2lbs a few times.
I can point to the facts that pretty much every weekend was busy and didn't leave time to plan for the week and that multiple early mornings + late nights at work often meant that activity plans often because 'walk for 30 minutes' because I didn't have the time or energy to deal with longer, sweat-inducing activities. But at the end of the day, I just didn't make weight-loss my priority and the results show that.
I am proud, given how some days/weeks went, that I didn't add to my weight. What started as added stress at the end of August rolled into the start of September. I was in a position where it was very tempting to throw my hands up and say "I'll get back to this after this project!" But I didn't. While I'm not going to say that every choice I made was the healthiest one - um, hello bottle of wine that is sitting empty on my counter - the majority of my choices were healthy.
I did, however, say that if I had a month where I didn't meet my 8lb goal (aim for 10lb, be happy with 8lb) I would be taking a look at where I had gone wrong and fixing it going forward. It's handy that I know exactly where I went wrong: I didn't set time to meal plan and I didn't get in all my workouts that I wanted. So October is focusing on getting those back in order.
On the work front, the crazy busy time is giving way to just straight up busy time. While the past few weeks have felt like a cascade of problems-on-top-of-problems-on-top-of-setting-up-900-learners, this past week has calmed down. While I still fully expect October to be a balls-to-the-wall busy month, it should not be the panicked-busy, short-staffed clusterfuck that August/September were.
I knew that with the way work is at the moment, I was going to get run down and that would probably result in me getting sick. What I wasn't expecting was for it to happen so soon in the project. We still have over 2 months to go and I'm taking this afternoon so I can sleep on my couch and hopefully feel better soon. But then I looked at my schedule for the past month and realised that I haven't had any time off.
My work days have been long, but my weekends have also been chalk-a-block full of activities such as painting at my dad's and going in to work to do all the things I didn't get to during the week. It's just like the weekends I dreamed of having when I would think about 'being an adult' when I was young! (Honestly, can anyone remind me why we in such a rush to 'grow up' when we were little? Oh, right. So we could set our own bedtimes.)
I started feeling the achy-oh-crap-don't-get-sick feeling on Tuesday so the fact that I've made it to Friday without letting it win makes me pretty happy. The downside is that standing over a stove to cook or at the counter to prep food seems like some Herculean task that was beyond my skill set this week so my food choices were, well, I stopped tracking because they were that bad. It also means that instead of writing a post Wednesday night and posting it yesterday, I would finish up any work I had brought home with me and then go to bed. Glorious, glorious bed!
Here's hoping an afternoon off work, a night of going to bed during the single-digit hours, and a relatively quiet weekend of golf (it's for work) and dinosaurs (I won tickets to Walking with Dinosaurs) has me back on track for next week.
Posting a day late because I opted to go to dinner with my mom last night instead of staring a computer while I moved my fingers to make these black squiggly symbols appear. (When people tell me I spend too much time thinking about random things, I get confused as to why they don't. How amazing are we as people? How incredible that years and years of the evolution of our species has not only produced a brain capable of thinking of and discussing abstract thoughts, but that we can look at a scribble and recognise it as that thought. It is amazing that thousands of years ago, something in our evolution made that possible. How can people not find that amazing and worthy of pondering?!? Anyway, I digress... like normal.)
They are squiggles on a page but they MEAN SOMETHING TO US! How is that not amazing?
I had a topic I wanted to discuss this week - why is there always that one person who seems to delight in you not losing weight? And why do I have to work with her where I see her on a regular basis? And why can't I punch that smirk off her face after she looks me up and down once then snidely asks "how's the weight-loss going?" And is it rude for me to counter with a once-over glance and then reply "apparently better than yours, you fat gloating bitch"? I'm guessing 'yes' on that last question which is why I haven't done it - but it's Friday night and I have to go in to work tomorrow morning because I didn't want to stay late tonight. I mean, hello! It's Friday!! What sort of sadomasochist works overtime on a Friday? At least by going in on Saturday there will be a) no one there and b) a fresh cup of coffee. No one there and a big cup of coffee is best way to get work done.
Or maybe I'll just make a drum-kit out of office supplies.
Weight-loss is still on track but I have been slacking on the physical movement side of it. My only saving grace is that I have been walking a lot between our two buildings. It's not like I'm walking between the Shire and Mordor, but making the trek back and forth a couple times a day means that my usually sedentary work-life hasn't completely derailed me. My goal for the coming week is to actually schedule some evening physical activity.
Fall is definitely here so there is a good chance that some of that activity may be jogging. I straight up confess that I hate jogging/running/moving-slightly-faster-than-walking in the summer but I enjoy it once fall returns.
It was not my intention to only post once a week, but it also wasn't my coworker's intention to be hospitalised, so, you know, there's that. In fairness, I haven't been left with grief and pain in place of my promised joy, but I am left feeling like I am incredibly behind on so many jobs I've set for myself.
Oh, Laura Roslin and your thinly-veiled sarcasm.
The crazy last two weeks of August did give me a good view as to what the next three months of work will look like. I know I keep harping on about this "three busiest months of my life" but the workload is ridiculous at the moment. I didn't know it was possible to look forward to the end of something you enjoy. I love my job - I can't state that enough - but sometimes I miss the days of my data entry job and lack of responsibility.
I mean, I'm not president or anything, but I've got a lot of shit to do.
Where does this leave me for my healthy living goals? Well, I have (temporarily) left my gym. I love the gym, I love the girls, I love kickboxing, I hate having to do this, but it is a gym that works on a schedule and I can't make that schedule work with my current schedule. I can't justify the monthly fees if I can't attend classes with regularity. I am still committed to the goal of four hours of physical activity a week, it just means that the Chikara gym and its awesome built-in group of cheerleaders won't be the source of any of that time.
Chikara girls, you're on notice. Come December, I'm kicking all your asses.
Other than that, it's still just about plugging away and working on the small changes I set out for myself and making sure I use my free time wisely so when really-crazy-busy-time rolls around, I'm prepared with a plan of how I'm keeping myself on track. I want to come out the other side of this work crazy with the personal achievement of losing weight while going through it.
And I fully plan to celebrate when I do... but probably with something like a day at the Spa.
Although popping some champagne in front of a cheer crowd would also be fun.
I should have a well-written, introspective post reflecting on my first full month on the road to a healthier me. Well, I should have a post about it that I've actually put thought into. Well-written and introspective are optional. Always optional.
What you're getting instead is a slap-dash post that I won't even proofread. I hope I spels gud.
Towards the end of last week, a coworker got extremely sick (but she is okay). The result is that this week I have been facilitating a train group that she was scheduled to take as well as try and keep on top of my tasks so as to not get too far behind before training kicks off in full. I've been coming to work early, leaving late, and spending 7 hours of my now 9-hour work days standing and talking. You'd be amazed at how tiring just standing and talking can be.
I love my job - I am so grateful that I have finally found a job that I want to turn into my career - but this week has been a hard week. When I stepped on the scale on Wednesday morning, I wasn't the least bit surprised to see a gain. Disappointed because I had been on target for over 10 lbs this month, but not surprised. I still (just) hit the 8 lbs goal, but I would have loved to have ended my (full) first month with a bang.
But that's life. We don't lose weight in a vacuum, and figuring out how to live a healthier life even during those times of unexpected ass-kicking busy weeks is just a part of figuring out life.
I should talk about my other goals went this month as part of the monthly wrap-up but it is almost 8:30 pm and all I want to do is put on pyjamas, make a big cup of decaf Earl Grey, finally (FINALLY!) watch the new Doctor Who that aired on Saturday night, and then go to bed.
I just realised that there are no pictures in this post, so here's one from a few birthday's ago. Yes, I am topping up my pint glass as I drink it because I'm classy like that.
My body has two responses when I'm stressed: sleep and eat. That's it.
When stressed, it is completely possible for my entire weekend to be: sleep, eat, repeat. (Hmm, I think I missed the chance for an awesome [something,something,something] blog name.) In fact, if I hadn't made dinner plans with a friend on Saturday and family plans on Sunday, that would have been my weekend. As it was, I slept until 1 pm on Saturday and had a two hour nap at about 3:30 pm on Sunday.
Right here. This is a perfect sleeping spot.
And food? When I'm stressed, I want to eat. Not because I'm hungry, not because I need it, but because I just do. And while the juicy ripe BC peach waiting for me at home is delicious, you know what probably tastes even better? The apple strudel at one of the coffee shops I frequent. For the record, the apple strudel (or apfelstrudel because apparently I go full German when ordering it) had additional sponge pastry hiding under the apples. Totally false advertising! So I ate the heavily sugared-and-spiced apple slices in the middle and tossed the rest. If I'm going to waste valuable points on crap food, I want the crap food to be worth it.
Hello heaven!
Neither of these options, as I'm sure you have figured out, are conducive to weight-loss. It is also, in case you missed my last 893 references to it, the start of what will quite possibly be the three most stressful months of my life. How stressful? Well, this happened today:
Given all of this, I figured I could use some motivation to keep me on point. I sat down last night and created a spreadsheet to track my weight loss which then turns my weekly numbers into a chart. Because nothing makes me so happy as watching that chart get a little lower every week. (I'll share it when it's a little more impressive. Four weeks in is kind of *meh*)
I'm also going to spend my few waking hours this weekend meal planning for the week so I can make sure I'm set for healthy snacks. Because I am going to want to snack this week... and the 15 weeks after that.
I can be a very 'go
big or go home' type of person so setting goals, per se, has never been a problem for me.
Setting a goal of losing 125lbs is easy. In fact, it's as easy as typing it:
I'm going to lose 125lbs. Bam. Goal = set.
My challenge (and
the challenge for many people) is in setting up all the route markers that take
me to that goal and holding myself
accountable to them. What do I need to do to achieve that goal? What will I
do if I fall off track of doing those things?
While the big goals
are fun to set, they're not practical without the route markers or smaller
goals. So the first thing I did when I recommitted to becoming healthier was
sit down and set out my road map to how I was going to reach that big goal. I
set three monthly goals. I also
set up some weekly goals, but those change week-to-week as I determine what is
a healthy change I can make that week to see improvement.
I
want to see a 10 lbs loss every month, but I will be happy with 8
I know that 10 lbs
is do-able, especially at my current weight - hell, it wouldn't take too much
effort the first couple of months to push and strive for 12 lbs at the start -
but I also know that the next three months of work are going to consume me. I
want 10 lbs, I will aim for 10 lbs, I expect 10 lbs, but if the best I can do
during this time of massive change in our company is 8 lbs, then I will be
happy with that.
Anything less than 8? Well, we'll cross that bridge if we come to it. Which we totally won't. Right, Andrea?
How do I keep myself accountable to this? I'm weighing in every week (Wednesday mornings, if you care to know) and then texting certain people. These are all people who will appropriately cheer when I go down but also send the WTF? text when I start heading the wrong direction.
I will commit to at least 4 hours of physical activity every week
Okay, this is a 'weekly' goal but those goals are more 'I ate out every lunch last week so this week, I brown bag it every day'. You know, goals that are small adjustments to get me back on track. Not long-term commitments.
If I go to every kickboxing/bootcamp session, then I've reached this goal - and I want to go to every kickboxing/bootcamp session - but it's busy season at work and there will be times when that just won't be feasible because of deadlines and such. Currently (well, up until last week), if I didn't make it to class then I didn't do anything else. This is kind of ridiculous.
I live in a fantastic walking neighbourhood with a beach a decent distance (and down a sizable hill which is always fun to come up) from me. I have BC's Government House with its wonderful chip trails that I can walk/slowly jog around (also with plenty of inclines). I don't have to do the replacement activity that night I don't make it to the gym, but I have to do it. That's the point.
I will keep a food journal and will follow an informal WW plan
I did WW once and was very successful. Then I did WW and only stuck with it long enough to get all the intro material before I bolted because the only meeting I could commit to going to every week was a who's who of SNL characters. I just couldn't take sitting through those meetings anymore and not being allowed to laugh when certain people started talking.
I dusted off the old (no-longer-in-vogue) program booklets, made a few notes of the recipes listed in them that I liked, and have been mentally tallying up points at the end of each day. I haven't been totally amazing at keeping on top of this so far because GISHWHES! WORK! LAZY! I did honestly give myself until after GISHWHES to start actively keeping a food journal, but this week has really just been laziness (although I have actually been eating very well and keeping portions in control so yay me for eating like an adult) but that changes tomorrow. What? I forgot my snazzy journal cheap notebook at home this morning!
Accountability:
The accountability for all of these also comes in the form of a monthly blog post. I would do weekly, but I get bored when other bloggers post weekly weigh-in numbers. There's a good chance you'd get bored if I did that. I do plan to do weekly posts under The Reluctant Athlete tag, but I'll only make a point of talking about these items once a month.
Otherwise, this blog will continue to be a centre of random useless posts.
If you made it all the way through that wall of text, have a dancing baby Groot (which is kind of, sort of spoiler-y but whatever. WHY HAVEN'T YOU SEEN GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY YET?):
I was going to blog this week about goal setting and some of the goals I've set. But instead, you get this post about how I can't post because I've been too busying participating in GISHWHES to finish writing the post. I failed at my goal to write about goals.
But... but... but I'm having so much fun doing GISHWHES. I am so happy I drank way too much caffeine that one day and then told my friend we should sign up for it. Definitely going to be back next year to participate again. Unfortunately, under the rules of GISHWHES, I can't actually tell you what we've been up to yet. That has to wait until after the contest has closed and we've been given the all clear.
So, I'll talk about goals next week. (And I'll talk more about GISHWHES next week.) But, I can quickly say that I posted another loss this week so yay, me!
Now, back to making a fool of myself in the name of charity and random acts of kindness!
A number of years ago, I started a weight-loss themed blog. The
idea was to keep myself accountable. I had moderate success but nothing
long-term. Then I moved to the new job position, and my need to get healthy
completely fell by the wayside - or is it weigh-side? *insert groan here* -
because work. I didn't make weight-loss a priority and stopped blogging
altogether.
Noticing that my clothing has been feeling tighter, I decided it
was time to make it a priority again. It wasn't just about being more
consistent with my kickboxing and bootcamp attendance but also being better
with my eating habits. As a person who lives alone, being smart with my eating
habits has always been an area I struggled, especially once I started
kickboxing and wasn't getting home until 7:30 each night. This has to change.
I needed to know my starting point if I was going to do this, so I
stepped on the scale for the first time in almost two years.
Before stepping on the scale, I had a number in my head I expected
to see. Boy, was I off! I knew I was higher than my previous high of 241lbs,
but I honestly didn't expect to see 257lbs on the scale. I could do nothing but
think to myself "I am a fucking fat sloth... except not as adorable."
This... is not acceptable. For years, I've hovered around 230lbs.
Definitely overweight, I'm not denying that, but I had marginally less than
100lbs to lose. (My lowest adult weight was 135lbs. When I get there, you'll understand why I don't go lower.)
Mentally, that less than 100lbs was
big to me. I was fat, but I wasn't that
fat!
Well, I'm that fat now.
I got on the phone with Katie and discussed what had happened. We
talked about what my goals would be for the next few months, what was feasible
with the work schedule I had coming up, and what my targets would be weekly,
monthly, and for the end of the year.
The best part about talking this all through with Katie? She was
so bloody cheerful and positive about the whole thing. It was like I had phoned
Bob the Builder. Can you lose it? YES,
YOU CAN! Despite my grumbles about her being too fucking happy about all
this, I found myself completely convinced by the end of the phone call that I
was going to succeed. If you ever need a cheerleader in your corner, she is the
person to go to!
I had my first weekly weigh-in yesterday and I'm down 3lbs. I know
that even the best weight loss stories are not a straight line from Point A to
Point B, but I'd say I'm off to a good start.
And now I really want to watch all three seasons of Sherlock back-to-back.
