Training for the Hoodie

When I wrote about my reasons for wanting to lose weight, I mentioned that I needed to sit down and set out a few short term goals. I failed to do that.

Instead, I signed up with a personal trainer at my gym. I instantly regretted this decision. But, like, in the best way possible?

One week into my two week trial, I had already committed to a year of thrice weekly asskicking. And to make it even better? Our sessions are at 6:30am because I’m an idiot. When asked what time I’d like my sessions to be, it may have been implied that I hate dealing with the crowds after work. From that it was inferred that I wanted a morning session and I agreed. I’m still not sure why.

Other than getting up at ass o’clock in the morning three times a week, I’ve been enjoying my sessions. I was a little reluctant when I was first matched up with my trainer because she seemed like she was going to be a cheerful, upbeat bundle of energy and I didn’t think I could handle that at 6:30 am. While she is cheerful and upbeat, she is also sarcastic and geeky. More importantly, she laughs at my jokes but doesn’t put up with my shit. I think I’m in love.

As part of the training package, we sat down to talk about my long-term goals, review where I was physically and then set a few shorter goals. My first indication that I was going to like my trainer was when we discussed what is feasible in the 15 months before I leave for Tanzania. "Our guarantee is that you will lose 50lbs in a year, but I know we can beat that. It's even possible that you could meet your final goal, I've seen people who've done it. But you know what? Those people have a single focus, and their entire lives are 100% about that goal and they don't enjoy the occasional beer on a sunny patio. Ugh. Who wants to be one of those people?"


Like I said, I think I'm in love.

One of the short-term goals that we set was to fit comfortably into a Monaghan hoodie I bought.

I had been toying with the idea of getting a Monaghan jersey for a while but made a game time decision to go with a hoodie instead for the simple reason that I have more options to wear it. It’s all about sharing the Monaghan pride as often as possible! I purposely got a few sizes smaller than I currently wear (a.k.a it was the largest size available for order) and then patiently waited for my package to arrive.

Okay, not so patiently.

When it arrived I was a little disappointed it wasn't smaller. I know. Tough life that I was actually sad about that. I can zip it up but it’s not comfortable. It’s tight and constantly rides up around the waist. So while it’s not as ‘too small’ as I had hoped, it is still too small and that’s what I wanted.

The full-body before pictures of the jacket are currently with my trainer but I’ll be sure to share the before and “hey, I can wear it fit” current pictures when the time comes. (I refuse to call them afters because they won’t be an after at that point. They’ll be durings.) In the meantime, here's a quick pictures I took myself.

Here's to it being a little less snug in three months!

The Reluctant Athlete: An Aside to My Aside

Posting a day late because I opted to go to dinner with my mom last night instead of staring a computer while I moved my fingers to make these black squiggly symbols appear. (When people tell me I spend too much time thinking about random things, I get confused as to why they don't. How amazing are we as people? How incredible that years and years of the evolution of our species has not only produced a brain capable of thinking of and discussing abstract thoughts, but that we can look at a scribble and recognise it as that thought. It is amazing that thousands of years ago, something in our evolution made that possible. How can people not find that amazing and worthy of pondering?!? Anyway, I digress... like normal.)

They are squiggles on a page but they MEAN SOMETHING TO US!
How is that not amazing?

I had a topic I wanted to discuss this week - why is there always that one person who seems to delight in you not losing weight? And why do I have to work with her where I see her on a regular basis? And why can't I punch that smirk off her face after she looks me up and down once then snidely asks "how's the weight-loss going?" And is it rude for me to counter with a once-over glance and then reply "apparently better than yours, you fat gloating bitch"? I'm guessing 'yes' on that last question which is why I haven't done it - but it's Friday night and I have to go in to work tomorrow morning because I didn't want to stay late tonight. I mean, hello! It's Friday!! What sort of sadomasochist works overtime on a Friday? At least by going in on Saturday there will be a) no one there and b) a fresh cup of coffee. No one there and a big cup of coffee is best way to get work done.

Or maybe I'll just make a drum-kit out of office supplies.

Weight-loss is still on track but I have been slacking on the physical movement side of it. My only saving grace is that I have been walking a lot between our two buildings. It's not like I'm walking between the Shire and Mordor, but making the trek back and forth a couple times a day means that my usually sedentary work-life hasn't completely derailed me. My goal for the coming week is to actually schedule some evening physical activity.

Fall is definitely here so there is a good chance that some of that activity may be jogging. I straight up confess that I hate jogging/running/moving-slightly-faster-than-walking in the summer but I enjoy it once fall returns.

Run Batman!

The Reluctant Athlete: Ass-Kicking... And Not the Good Kind

This week kicked my ass.

I should have a well-written, introspective post reflecting on my first full month on the road to a healthier me. Well, I should have a post about it that I've actually put thought into. Well-written and introspective are optional. Always optional.

What you're getting instead is a slap-dash post that I won't even proofread. I hope I spels gud.

Towards the end of last week, a coworker got extremely sick (but she is okay). The result is that this week I have been facilitating a train group that she was scheduled to take as well as try and keep on top of my tasks so as to not get too far behind before training kicks off in full. I've been coming to work early, leaving late, and spending 7 hours of my now 9-hour work days standing and talking. You'd be amazed at how tiring just standing and talking can be.

I love my job - I am so grateful that I have finally found a job that I want to turn into my career - but this week has been a hard week. When I stepped on the scale on Wednesday morning, I wasn't the least bit surprised to see a gain. Disappointed because I had been on target for over 10 lbs this month, but not surprised. I still (just) hit the 8 lbs goal, but I would have loved to have ended my (full) first month with a bang.

But that's life. We don't lose weight in a vacuum, and figuring out how to live a healthier life even during those times of unexpected ass-kicking busy weeks is just a part of figuring out life.

I should talk about my other goals went this month as part of the monthly wrap-up but it is almost 8:30 pm and all I want to do is put on pyjamas, make a big cup of decaf Earl Grey, finally (FINALLY!) watch the new Doctor Who that aired on Saturday night, and then go to bed.

I just realised that there are no pictures in this post, so here's one from a few birthday's ago. Yes, I am topping up my pint glass as I drink it because I'm classy like that.

The Reluctant Athlete: Sleeping and Eating to a Healthier Me

My body has two responses when I'm stressed: sleep and eat. That's it.

When stressed, it is completely possible for my entire weekend to be: sleep, eat, repeat. (Hmm, I think I missed the chance for an awesome [something,something,something] blog name.) In fact, if I hadn't made dinner plans with a friend on Saturday and family plans on Sunday, that would have been my weekend. As it was, I slept until 1 pm on Saturday and had a two hour nap at about 3:30 pm on Sunday.

Right here. This is a perfect sleeping spot.

And food? When I'm stressed, I want to eat. Not because I'm hungry, not because I need it, but because I just do. And while the juicy ripe BC peach waiting for me at home is delicious, you know what probably tastes even better? The apple strudel at one of the coffee shops I frequent. For the record, the apple strudel (or apfelstrudel because apparently I go full German when ordering it) had additional sponge pastry hiding under the apples. Totally false advertising! So I ate the heavily sugared-and-spiced apple slices in the middle and tossed the rest. If I'm going to waste valuable points on crap food, I want the crap food to be worth it.

Hello heaven!

Neither of these options, as I'm sure you have figured out, are conducive to weight-loss. It is also, in case you missed my last 893 references to it, the start of what will quite possibly be the three most stressful months of my life. How stressful? Well, this happened today:

Given all of this, I figured I could use some motivation to keep me on point. I sat down last night and created a spreadsheet to track my weight loss which then turns my weekly numbers into a chart. Because nothing makes me so happy as watching that chart get a little lower every week. (I'll share it when it's a little more impressive. Four weeks in is kind of *meh*)

I'm also going to spend my few waking hours this weekend meal planning for the week so I can make sure I'm set for healthy snacks. Because I am going to want to snack this week... and the 15 weeks after that.

The Reluctant Athlete: The Re-(re-re-re-re-re-)commitment

A number of years ago, I started a weight-loss themed blog. The idea was to keep myself accountable. I had moderate success but nothing long-term. Then I moved to the new job position, and my need to get healthy completely fell by the wayside - or is it weigh-side? *insert groan here* - because work. I didn't make weight-loss a priority and stopped blogging altogether.

Noticing that my clothing has been feeling tighter, I decided it was time to make it a priority again. It wasn't just about being more consistent with my kickboxing and bootcamp attendance but also being better with my eating habits. As a person who lives alone, being smart with my eating habits has always been an area I struggled, especially once I started kickboxing and wasn't getting home until 7:30 each night. This has to change.

I needed to know my starting point if I was going to do this, so I stepped on the scale for the first time in almost two years.

Before stepping on the scale, I had a number in my head I expected to see. Boy, was I off! I knew I was higher than my previous high of 241lbs, but I honestly didn't expect to see 257lbs on the scale. I could do nothing but think to myself "I am a fucking fat sloth... except not as adorable."

This... is not acceptable. For years, I've hovered around 230lbs. Definitely overweight, I'm not denying that, but I had marginally less than 100lbs to lose. (My lowest adult weight was 135lbs. When I get there, you'll understand why I don't go lower.) Mentally, that less than 100lbs was big to me. I was fat, but I wasn't that fat!

Well, I'm that fat now.

I got on the phone with Katie and discussed what had happened. We talked about what my goals would be for the next few months, what was feasible with the work schedule I had coming up, and what my targets would be weekly, monthly, and for the end of the year.

The best part about talking this all through with Katie? She was so bloody cheerful and positive about the whole thing. It was like I had phoned Bob the Builder. Can you lose it? YES, YOU CAN! Despite my grumbles about her being too fucking happy about all this, I found myself completely convinced by the end of the phone call that I was going to succeed. If you ever need a cheerleader in your corner, she is the person to go to!

I had my first weekly weigh-in yesterday and I'm down 3lbs. I know that even the best weight loss stories are not a straight line from Point A to Point B, but I'd say I'm off to a good start.

And now I really want to watch all three seasons of Sherlock back-to-back.